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Post by jakesdream on Apr 11, 2006 22:56:56 GMT -5
Hey Hayley great of you to 'join' us I'm so glad that this movie has touched you like many of us. It is very powerful and beautiful. I just feel very sad that not everyone sees it the way we do. I mean I LOVE to talk about the movie to ppl (especially at work cause that's where I spend most of my time LOL) but they don't really see it the way I do. I find myself explaining and defending it Oh well at least I have you guys O.K. what time zones do most ppl live. I don't care if I have to watch it at 3:00am LOL I live in the Mountains
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koka
Connaissance
I'm BEAUTIFULLY BROKEN!
Posts: 147
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Post by koka on May 7, 2006 11:15:57 GMT -5
I went to see Brokeback for the 9th time the day before yesterday. I was so excited and soooooooo happy to be seeing it in the movie theater yet again. I felt as if I were seeing it for the very first time. my heart was jumping up and down like crazy, my palms were getting all sweaty and shit- as if I were going on a date or something *lol* I was surprised at the number of people in the audience. clearly there were about a dozen of people- something I haven't expected since it is, after all, the middle of may and the movie had been playing since february the 2nd.....actually, I was surprised that it was still playing but then again, this movie theater wasn't a multiplex or anything, just a simple theater that's been a part of this town for as long as I can remember. I went by myself of course, because a trip to brokeback mountain is one I prefer taking alone. when the movie started, I felt complete bliss- I felt as if I were going home.......I felt as though I had been 'a thousand miles from home' ( like in the lyrics of 'the was a friend of mine' ) and now I was finally coming back.....I was going home. and I was staying there for 2 long, beautiful hours. It really seemed like forever- in a good way of course. probably because I wanted it to last forever, I wanted never to have to come down the mountain again. because I knew that when I do, I won't be able to cope with what lies ahead- with reality, with my 'real life', with simply walking down the sidewalk towards a place officially known as 'home', but which will always seems only like a second home to me. because home is where the heart is. and my heart is still up there on brokeback mountain and I have a feeling that I doesn't ever want to come down. as I said, the movie started and I found myself looking for details- trying to memorise each and every single movement, even the smallest bit of scenery ( like for example the two girls walking down the streat as aguirre stepped out of his cat ), every flinch. but after a few moments, I automatically stopped doing that and I just allowed myself to dive in deep and let the amazing beauty of the mountains overwhelm me and take control over me and all my senses. Interesting enough, I found myself laughing and smiling before the scenes I found to be funny came up. I knew they were coming and the mere thought of them just brough a smile to my face ( 'that harmonica don't sound quite right either', Jack singing Water walking Jesus, Jack riding to meet Ennis with 'King of the road' playing on the radio, that THING monroe used to cut the turkey, when Ennis told Cassie what he was doing earlier that day, 'sending up a prayer of thanks',.... ). That first part of the movie, ennis and jack's first summer on brokeback mountain....is something I never want to let go of. Everything was so beautiful, so simple back then. they were young, they were free, they were in love- they had their lifes ahead of them and the whole world to themselves....the whole world to themselves. everything was so simple back then...so simple. you know what it's like, to be able to be completelly free, in the beautiful outdoors, with nothing but the sky as your boundary. and that's what the two of them had....that one summer, when nothing seemed wrong and everything they felt seemed right. when ennis opened up to jack, when he told him about his sad childhood, when he awarded jack with that little smile of his, something rarely seen on his lips and when jack looked back at him with a look filled with compasion, happiness ( because he opened up to him ) and....love. when jack said 'no more beans' and ennis decided to grant him his wish by ordering soup ( I remember that having an 'awwwwwww' effect on me during my 1st viewing ). when jack removed his scarf (?) in order to wash ennis' wound. when ennis killed the elk because jack wanted them to do something about the food situation. the first night in the tent.....when ennis decided to leave everything he knew behind, give in and go for what he felt and what he needed. when jack did the same. and then when ennis rode off, leaving jack behind, with Jack's words 'see you for supper' floating in the air and diseppearing into oblivion, and a look of utter sadness on his faces and in his eyes. My eyes got all teary when Jack looked at him, I almost cried. But I couldn't. I felt as though I was going to choak. I probably looked the way Jack looked...and knew I felt what he felt. when you look at Jack, when you look in his eyes- you can read everything, see everything, feel everything. same goes for me. In that one moment, in that little second, Jack and I were one. in that moment, my trip had begun. the time had come for me to leave the mountains behind and to take a trip of self-discovery. the second night in the tent. the way ennis looked at jack, how he was scared, how he whispered 'I'm sorry', afraid to give in again. like a little child wanting a hug but being afraid to ask for it. ennis needed tenderness then, he needed a place where he could feel safe, he needed a home- and home is where the heart is. and his heart was in Jack's possesion. therefore his home was in Jack's arms. In those arms that held him tight and never wanted to let go. I wanted to cry yet again when Jack and Ennis fought. When Jack said 'Ennis, Ennis, you're gonna be alright' and took him in his arms, yet again not wanting to let go. Jack was ready to take the leap....Ennis wasn't. He punched him back. when they finally left the mountain, I felt as if I were leaving home and heading for a place filled with torture, pain and regret. I wanted to turn back the clock, to go back to ol' brokeback and never go down again. I just wasn't ready for what was coming. I wasn't ready for the disappointment in Jack's eyes everytime Ennis turned him down, I wasn't ready for the look on Ennis' face that never seemed to alter. After 4 !@#$ years, after their reunion, after that kiss, the longing, hidden desire and unfulfilled lust, when Ennis nuzzled up against Jack, after he touched him the way he did, not wanting to ever let go but knewing he had to, I knew Ennis wanted to take that leap.....something Jack had been waiting for all these years. Jack was still willing to take it and now he knew he was not alone. when they went 'fishing', before Ennis started talking after Jack's proposal, he put his hat back on and sat more closely to Jack....but even though he came closer, him putting on his hat again struck me hard. After them jumping in the water, being free again in the beautiful natur with nothing standing in their way, after looking in the beautiful night sky and knewing that what he felt was right, Ennis made a small but meaningful gesture- he put his hat back on, he froze, he closed. after being free, he caged himself again. he told Jack about what he had witnessed as a child, yes. but he wasn't willing to take the leap. Jack was. Ennis backed off yet again. And when he put his hand on Ennis' face as if telling him everything is going to be alright, I yet again felt the way Jack felt. I had tears in my eyes. I didn't want to let go, I wanted them so stay like that forever.....it could be like this, just like this always. then when Jack got Ennis' card about the divorce. So much hope, so much longing, Jack was willing to jump. I yet again wanted to cry, to weep, to hold Jack and tell him everything is going to be alright. Jack was prepared to take the leap, Ennis wasn't. When Jack went to Mexico, that look of loathing on his face.....he hated Ennis in that moment, but he hated himself more. it was a look of self loathing. he was dry, he was empty, he was hollow. and he didn't care. he couldn't have ennis, so he went for self destruction. He had been ready to jump all these years and each time he almost did, Ennis backed off. Jack thought he needed sex, he didn't. he needed Ennis, he needed his love, he needed his touch. he didn't need sex. but there he was seeking it anyway. to get back at ennis in a way, but more to torture himself. but he didn't care. I did. his eyes said it all. He yet again proposed to Ennis to come to Texas, he wanted to give it another shot. And yet again, Ennis wasn't ready. Will he ever be? later on randall asked him to go fishing with him. Same thing happened as it did with Mexico. Jack was empty, Jack was hollow. Jack didn't care. Jack wanted Ennis but couldn't have him. not in the way he wanted to anyway. and yet he gave in deciding not to take any more jumps. then they went up the mountains again, Jack decided to give it another shot. he told him he missed him so much he could hardly stand it. Ennis said nothing. I knew he felt the same just by looking at him. But he said nothing. And yet again, everything unspoken was left drifting in the air. until the next day when both Jack and Ennis lost it. I wanted to cry, I wanted to shout, I wanted to scream. I could do neither of those things. I could barelly move. I couldn't cry, but I felt as if I was going to suffocate. Everything was said, but nothing was resolved. All the words that were said ment nothing in comparison to the hug that followed. that was everything that mattered. Ennis finally said it, he told Jack he can't stand it anymore, he broke down. but again, nothing was resolved, no solution was found. all they were left with was sorrow, pain and regret. Jack was sick of jumping because even after 20 years, Ennis wasn't ready and probably never would be. the memory he had, his most precious memory, will stick with him forever, the memory of that day on brokeback mountain, when they were young and had the world to themselves, when Ennis hugged him from behind ,that hug 'satisfying their shared and sexless hunger'. It wasn't about sex, it was never about sex. sex is nothing but a physical manifistation of love- at least their sex was. the look in Jack's eyes when Ennis rode off was the look of love and longing. the look in Jack's eyes 20 years later when Ennis drove off was a look of biterness, hurt, disappointment and sadness. neither look will I ever be able to forget. I successfully held back tears when Ennis got the card with 'deceased' written all over it, but my whole body was shaking as if I were weeping. Ennis' conversation with Lureen, his trip to Jack's parents........it was all kind of misty, as if it had come from a dream. or a dream in a dream. I was looking at the screen, but felt as though I didn't see anything. My spirit was absent, it was drifting somewhere above, probably finding its way back to brokeback mountain in order to stay there forever. especially after Ennis found the shirts.....all I wanted to do was to go home- my real home. Because in that moment, when Ennis breathed in, he was home. He was home. The look between Ennis and Mrs.Twist ( such a beautiful human being ) got me good. yet again I wanted to cry, but couldn't because of the devastation I felt. The conversation with Junior just floated by, I felt as if I hadn't heard a word....except: 'that Kurt fella, he LOVES you?' hearing the word love come out of Ennis' mouth after all these years, seeing how he cares that his daughter doesn't screw up her life the way he did and miss out on things, miss out on love....seeing that again, right there. It just hit me. And then the last scene came, Ennis opened the closet door, buttoned Jack's shirt and said 'Jack, I swear'- Ennis was finally ready to take the leap, but Jack was no longer there to take it with him.
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Post by rafael83 on May 7, 2006 11:34:03 GMT -5
Just one thing to say Koka : Thank you...
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koka
Connaissance
I'm BEAUTIFULLY BROKEN!
Posts: 147
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Post by koka on May 7, 2006 11:44:00 GMT -5
you're welcome.
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Post by allennnd on May 9, 2006 11:22:25 GMT -5
KOKA, I still need time to read your message...
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Post by dalphine112 on Sept 11, 2006 10:22:06 GMT -5
I loved the movie as well and thought it was told very good I think Ang Lee did a great job as well. I also think Jake did an excellent job and to be honest he's the one that drew me into this movie and now I'm obess with it.
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